Line Up Allies For Your Child

If your child is gone from you during the day (for example in school) then he/she may need allies to help get through some days.

Our son has ended up in the nurse's office 12 times in 4 1/2 months, each time wanting to call home because he's 'sick'.

A huge DUH on my part, we never discussed our son's issues with the school nurse, Connie, so she didn't know that there was anything going on with him. Pretty much all she knew was that I'd get on the phone with him when he'd call from her office and after much chatting would usually be able to convince him to go back to class.

A few weeks ago it finally occurred to me that DUH I needed to fill her in. OH MY GOSH, I should have done this DAYS ago. She has been so incredibly supportive, one of the MOST supportive people at the school and district (Connie if you read this thank you so much!).

She really seems to have taken our son and his troubles to heart and is doing so well that she's actually been able to convince him a couple times that he can get through the day without having to call home!

The way I see it, there's only one reason why she's able to do this. She is giving our son enough of what he needs to help him to get through the rest of his day!

She spends a few minutes with him, gives him a cracker or two, chats with him and then gently sends him back to class. She's assured me that if he insists on calling home she'll let him but so far, since I let her in on what's going on, she has been able to take care of him almost every time he's wanted to call. :)

There are some at the school that see this as a less than ideal solution because they feel it'll interfere with the running of the office. Instead they'd prefer that our son go to the bathroom and 'collect himself' but what they don't seem to understand (but we are starting to realize) is that our son can't get what he needs from the bathroom, he needs a living breathing CARING human being to acknowledge him and his issues, just a few minutes of one-on-one, and then he's fine. Problem is if he doesn't get this he'll explode, melt down, whatever you want to call it.

They're also concerned that our son will pick up an illness from a sick kid in the nurse's office and of course that concerns me too however, right now I'm more worried about him having a melt-down at school than I am about his contracting an illness.

I can't worry about both (illness and melt-downs) right now and between the two, the melt-down would be more destructive I think than catching a cold. I don't mind him risking an illness if in the process he's able to rid himself of the debilitating stress and anxiety he goes through every day.

Those at the school that don't want this arrangement don't realize the depth of our son's need but thankfully our school nurse Connie does. We're hoping that we can provide some education to the others during our son's first IEP meeting.

So, anyhow, the moral of the story is, try to find your child one or more caring allies that they can go to during the day if they need to, to help them get through their day.

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