Help Me! My Child Has Asperger's Syndrome and is Having a Melt-Down!

Asperger's Syndrome Behaviors and Handling Temper Tantrums

How many times have you silently cried "help me my child has Aspergers Syndrome and is having a melt-down"?

How often has your child gone into "melt-down mode" when you were at a store or a park or a restaurant or a friend's house or your parents' house or your in-laws' house or anywhere?

I know it happened to me a LOT. Thank goodness not so much anymore but I still get the disapproving looks from others when my son says or does something that is deemed inappropriate by others.

What I'm wondering is, what would help you when your child shows this Asperger's Syndrome behavior (if it can even be called a "behavior") when out in public, or at a friend's house, or at the company barbecue, or at the Easter egg hunt at the park, etc.?

From what I've been reading I've been discovering that handling temper tantrums is different than handling an actual Asperger's Syndrome melt down (and other neurological conditions that cause true melt downs). That's why I wonder if a melt-down can even be referred to as an "Asperger's Syndrome behavior".

(If you're here to find out how to help someone else whose child is having a melt-down, please click here and then scroll down to "What Other Visitors Have Said" to read the suggestions that parents and caregivers have submitted. But please know that this is a new section at my website so there may not be any submissions as of yet.)

Help Me! My Child Has Asperger's Syndrome and is Having a Melt-Down!

What would help?

Would you want someone to approach you and ask you "Can I help at all, is there anything I can do?"

Or would you want everyone to just give you space and let you deal with things on your own?

Has anyone ever done anything to help you when "it" (melt-down mode) happened?

Has anyone ever done anything that absolutely did not help at all when it happened?

It's tough enough to try to bring calm back into your child's world (and your own). Has anyone ever made things worse?

Let's tell the world what helps us and what doesn't. What we would like people to do, and what we definitely DON'T want them to do, when they see us struggling.

Please click here to tell me and others what would help you when your child is having a melt-down, and what won't, or feel free to keep reading more about my experiences.

Help Me! My Child Has Asperger's Syndrome and is Having a Melt-Down!

I had an incident of a lady leaning over to me and telling me to tell my son to "suck it up". (!!!) I was floored.

But when I leaned back to her and told her that my son has Asperger's and it doesn't work to tell him to just "suck it up", her response was that she works with children with Asperger's and so she understands and to never mind what she said. (!!!)

I couldn't believe it!

She works with kids with Asperger's and her first response when she sees something like this is to tell the parent to tell the child to "suck it up"?

That was definitely a "that absolutely did not help one bit" moment!

And do you know, I don't think I've ever had one time where someone has asked if they could help. It's always, always been the disapproving glare, nasty comments, etc. If I didn't already want to run out of the store crying, those looks and comments definitely pushed me to that point.

And actually as I wrote that last paragraph I remembered a time where someone did try to help.

Help Me! My Child Has Asperger's Syndrome and is Having a Melt-Down!

We were in a restaurant and the music was LOUD (and so were the other patrons).

My son hadn't been diagnosed yet but, as many of us have experienced before diagnosis, I knew there was something going on. But, this was before I knew that bringing an iPod or headphones or something that could shut out the noise would help. So I didn't have anything to help him.

So, at any rate, we're in the restaurant, the music is loud (even for me it was loud) and I was watching my son slide into shut-down mode. I knew it was the noise.

I explained to our waiter what was happening and I asked if there was any possibility of the music being turned down a bit. They actually turned down the music! For us! I was so grateful. But unfortunately it was still too loud for my son.

We didn't even have our food yet (although we had already ordered and had been drinking our sodas) and we came to the conclusion that we had to leave, now, because he wasn't going to be able to handle it.

The waiter, knowing that we were having difficulty, had been keeping an eye on us so it didn't take much for me to get his attention again. I told him thank you for having the music turned down but that unfortunately it was still too much for Cameron and we were going to have to leave.

They immediately boxed up our dinners for us so that we could take them home with us!

Right now, that is the only incident I can recall where someone actually tried to help us when we were in a difficult situation.

Help Me! My Child Has Asperger's Syndrome and is Having a Melt-Down!

What would you like people to do? And not do?

Please tell me, and everyone else, by filling the box below. You'll get your own webpage that contains whatever you type into the box.

You can send your friends and family to your webpage (I'll give you the webpage address link so that you can give the link to your friends and family) where they can read what is sometimes so difficult for us to put into words, exactly what it is that you need when silently you are crying "help me my child is having a melt-down".

I know that your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions will be so helpful to other parents and caregivers as well. Sometimes we don't know what we need until we read what someone else has written and then we realize that might work for us, or it gives us ideas of what might work for us.

Thank you so much!
Diane

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Wonderful Autism Apps / Applications ... and ... some of my favorite books and other goodies

I'm so tickled that authors have been contacting me and asking me to review their new books for them!

For as much time as I spend researching Asperger's Syndrome this website should have thousands of pages but because my son has Asperger's Syndrome I find that the things I want to work on very often are not the things that I have to work on so I'm still not able to spend as much time on it as I'd like to.

As he heads into adulthood (he turned 18 on Dec 13 and yes I need to update some things at my website such as my home page that says he's 17) I'm finding that I have even less time on my hands as I spend more time trying to master the puzzle of how to help him transition into "life after high school".

That's where Autism Tomorrow: The Complete Guide To Help Your Child Thrive In The Real World comes in. It's a guide to help your kids after high school. You'll find parts of the book will be applicable and some won't depending on your child's current age. Although the title implies "Autism after high school" there is still quite a bit in there about what to do before your child hits "real life". But overall a helpful book.

Please contact me if you'd like to send a copy of your book to me for review. I would absolutely love it!

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